Nuclear Fusion
by ThursdayEVargas
Summary: Berwald hated to see Tino blame himself. After all, it was an accident and therefore not his fault.


AN: Yes, yes, I wrote the sequel as a separate oneshot.

XxX

In the end, there had been no divorce. In the time after the incident, Tino had needed someone and Berwald had always been there. Berwald was still unnerved when Tino would get a look. It was like he was somewhere else in his mind.

Their lovemaking had stopped. Tino couldn't bring himself to go through with it. Berwald had never wanted to force his love to do something. The activity was replaced by a new routine. Most nights Berwald would hold Tino, whispering comforting words until the latter fell asleep. Other nights Tino would be up after Berwald went to bed, wondering about how their life could have been.

Peter had stayed with his uncles. Berwald had been nervous about having him around. Tino hadn't been violent, just solemn and silent.

Berwald was walking through the house, looking for Tino one day. He found him curled up on the couch, staring at nothing in particular. As soon as Berwald sat beside him, Tino looked at him.

"Do you think we could've been happy?" he asked.

"T'no, w' c'uld've, b't 'm gl'd y'u're s'fe," Berwald replied.

"But it was what we had wanted for so long," Tino whispered back. "And now we never have that chance again."

"'ve st'll g't y'u," Berwald replied, trying to take Tino's hand.

Tino pulled it out of his grasp and countered, "I don't see how you can love me if I can't give you want you want."

"W'uldn't m'tt'r 'f y'u c'uld. St'll l've y'u."

Tino looked over at Berwald. Brown met blue before Tino looked away. Berwald wiped away the tears that started falling.

"'nd y'u're n't w'rthl'ss," Berwald promised.

Tino only started crying harder. He didn't understand how Berwald could love him if he couldn't give him something Berwald had wanted just a much as he had. He couldn't even find it in him to make love to his husband.

"Berwald?" Tino said, sniffling. "I've been selfish. I want to make it up to you."

Berwald didn't have time to reply as Tino kissed him. Berwald kissed him back, hoping that would be the end of that.

When he pulled away, Tino whispered, "We haven't done anything in a while."

"N't 'nl'ss y'u w'nt t'," Berwald replied. "D'n't w'nt t' f'rce y'u."

"No, Berwald, I've been selfish," Tino insisted. "I want to try again." He stood up and walked to their bedroom.

Berwald could only follow, not particularly wanting it to happen this way. As soon as he saw Tino laying there, he felt blood rush south. Tino had taken off his shirt, revealing his scar. Berwald walked over and kissed it, wishing he could've prevented the incident.

"Please, not there," Tino begged.

Berwald muttered an apology and set his glasses on the nightstand. He kissed his "wife," who kissed him back. Berwald felt guilt seeping in again.

"L've y'u," he said softly. "Berwald, I love you too," Tino said, smiling.

Berwald had never been happier than to see his "wife" smile. He kissed him again, this time with more love. He wanted to please Tino, wanted to show his love to him. His hands still remembered how to caress Tino.

Soon Tino found himself being stretched by his husband. Still as gentle as ever. Tino said softly, "I'm not going to break." "D'n't w'nt t' h'rt y'u," Berwald replied.

Tino sighed. It was always the same when they did this. Tino was a bit relieved, but found it a bit annoying. Berwald was so sweet and caring, but he treated Tino like a glass doll when they did this. He let out a small whine when Berwald pulled his fingers away.

"R'ady?" Berwald asked.

"Yes," Tino moaned.

Berwald put sheathed himself slowly, watching for any signs of pain. Tino loved the feeling of being filled after so long.

"Berwald," Tino moaned. His husband let out a grunt in reply. Tino laughed at the same elequence his husband possessed. "Could you move?" he asked.

Berwald let out another grunt and pulled out and pushed back in. Tino loved the feeling, even if it wasn't at its most pleasurable yet. Just being like this again made it seem like nothing was wrong. Then Berwald hit the spot inside him that made him see stars. It was, for a few glorious seconds, the life they had shared before.

"Berwald," Tino moaned as he felt himself go close.

Berwald didn't say anything, but one hand made it's way to stroke his "wife" and make him moan louder. Berwald was happy as long as Tino wasn't thinking and blaming himself.

"Berwald!" Tino screamed as he spilled himself on his husband's hand. Berwald kept his pace, even when he felt his own release close. With a groan, he filled his "wife" and collapsed next to him. He stroked the smaller blonde's cheek, surprised to find them wet.

"T'no?"

"Berwald, I'm fine. It's just…" Berwald nodded, encouraging him to go on. "I still don't see what you see in me."

"Y'u're k'nd, b'utif'l, h've a sw''t l'ugh," Berwald began.

"But, I can't give you a child."

"D'n't c're b'ut th't. W've g't P't'r," Berwald said.

"But we adopted him. I know you were looking forward to one of your own."

"W' c'n 'd'pt 'g'in," he said. "D'n't r'ally m'nd 't m'ch."

Tino only cried harder. Berwald pulled him into an embrace. He held him close, whispering comforting words. Tino eventually stopped and looked up at his husband.

"Do you really love me?" he asked, brown eyes full of trust.

"'lw'ys."

XxX

AN: Feel better now? Anyways, reviews are appreciated, but not required.

~Thursday E. Vargas


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